Monday, April 9, 2012

A few gems from my silly friends

When in college (in the 70's) and working as a waiter Jose's boss found him eating a partially eaten serving of prime rib off of a customer’s plate... "that's disgusting!" he shouted. Jose replied, "did you see the woman who ordered this? I would have let her sit on my face, so what's so bad about eating her leftovers?"

Amy was about 19 years old and a bit tipsy at this little punk club in a warehouse downtown.  After a few people suggested that she should sit down for a while she yelled "everybody wants me to walk right but no one wants to pay!"

First time Mallory had to be in the hospital a pretty young nurse came in and explained that he needed an enema..... he replied okay, you do me then I'll do you.

One very hot July afternoon at the beach I was enjoying the shade of my umbrella. My friend Rhonda had been lying in the sun and had consumed more than a couple of beers. She moved under the umbrella with the rest of us. We were all in agreement that it was unusually humid. Rhonda said "It's not the heat it's the humility"... (I'm thinking that would be a great title for the story of my life!) **apparently Yogi Berra beat me to it ;)

Toast from my pal Dennis
"Cheers to the women who wear red shoes, they smoke all my pot and drink all my booze, none of them are virgins but it's no sin, they still have the box the cherry came in"