Hero Worship

Some people never give up,
Keep their sense of humor,
Stay hopeful,
Show kindness all their lives,
These are my heroes.

Money, status, brains, looks, creativity, power, fashion, skill, political opinions, religious views, accomplishments....

None of that impresses me as much as a person who never loses their kind heart.

Purpose

A friend once told me you should always try to build up the people you love (especially children) because there is a whole world full of people waiting to try to knock them down and crush their dreams.

The Secret

Love, loyalty, comfort,
Loyalty, respect, loyalty,
Trust, loyalty, intertwined roots,
Loyalty, loneliness, loyalty,
Fear, loyalty and guilt
These are the ties that hold relationships together.

Bus stop

Three men and a woman,
Standing, one pacing,
Headphones on, 
Two heads bobbing

Man and woman side by side
Eyes fixed on phones, 
Thumbs flying

One man on the bench, 
Legs extended, 
Head leaned back, 
Hands folded on stomach

Each a different approach and the same goal 

tick tock

childhood, lah lah,
high school, rah rah,
career, blah blah,
marriage, okay okay,
parenthood, yay yay,
empty nest, sigh sigh,
losing loved ones, cry cry,
grow old or not we die die die

Mortality

Every person mentioned here had an impact my life, in who I am. Grateful for having known them is what I strive for but grief made me start this list and is why I keep it updated.

I included the way people died because death usually makes me angry. Angry at the circumstance, angry at God, angry at myself...

Losing loved ones to death is the harshest cost of living.

*********************
Teresa - (favorite cousin) car accident - 1978 - 25
Jimmy - (ex-boyfriend) motorcycle accident - 1981 - 22
Ada - (Tina's sister) killed by a serial murderer - 1983 - 17
Eugenia - (sister's friend) boyfriend shot her through a door at a party - 1984 - 18
Dads Mom (Margaret) - alzheimer's - 1985 - 92
Denis - (friend) cancer - 1985 - 21
Dave -(Lisa F's ex-boyfriend) suicide (grateful he didn't take his girlfriend with him)- 1985 - 23
Lucia - (best childhood friend) boyfriend decided to drive drunk after she passed out in the car (he lived) - 1986 - 23
Beth -(friend) addicted to pills - died of heart failure 1987 - 25
Barbara - (coworker) - cancer - 1995 - 42
Mom (Ann)- found out she was sick in June, died in November, Leukemia - 1997 - 61
Susie Belle/Granny (Mom's Mom)- Alzheimers - two days after Mom - 1997 - 86
Ethel (Buddy's Mom)- stroke - 1998 - 72
Bill (Brother in laws Dad) 1998 - 72
Dad (Donald) - prostate cancer - 2002 - 69
Nancy -(neighbor) cancer - 2003 - 39
Uncle Joe (Fleur's Husband)- emphysema & heart disease - 2003 - 81
Aunt Helen (Dads Sister) - heart attack - 2004 - 73
Bill Jr(brother in laws brother) cancer - 2005 - 52
Rob - (sister's friend) drug addiction/heart failure - 2005 - 50
Bruce - (family friend) car accident - 2006 - 37
Vicente' - heart attack - 2006 -54
Nehemiah -(friend) cancer - 2007 - 50
Alene (Mother-in-Law) - heart failure - 2007 - 81
Richard - ( Rick's Dad) - drove the wrong way on an interstate -2008- 75
Grace - (daughter of a coworker) - smoke inhalation - 2008 - 4
Buddy - (husband's best friend) alcohol addiction/massive heart attack - 2008 - 51
David - (brother's friend) suicide - 2008 - 48
Shirley (Lisa's Mom) - cancer - 2008 - 67
Doris (Rick's Mom) - emphysema - 2008 - 72
Matt (daughters friend) - car accident - 2008 - 18
Orin (ex-coworker) - heart attack in his garden - 2009 - 80
Rhett (ex-coworker/smoke buddy) - cancer - 2009 - 77
Bradley (ex-coworker/dj) - heart attack - 2009 - 47
Ray (ex-coworker) - cancer - 2009 - 64
Juanita (friend, ex-coworker) - leukemia 2009 - 62
Mariah (daughters friend) car accident, she was the passenger, driver lived 2011 - 20
Robbie (daughters friend ) motorcycle accident - 2011 - 22
Dewitt - (childhood neighbor)-head injury (he fell down in the hospital parking lot, just found out he had cancer)- 2012 - 52
Marvin - (Sister-in Laws life partner) kidney failure -2012- 80
John - (musician and sister's next door neighbor in 1984) - ran over walking to the bus stop - 2012-60
Robert - (Diane H's husband) massive heart attack. Died 6 years to the day of Vicente', same cause. 2012-53
Raymond - (Dennis S's dad)  cancer - (well known in political circles, had open bar during the funeral at his request) 2012 - 83
Whitney - (Mother of a girl who has always called me Aunt Karen) - fell off her horse -2013 - 48
Mary - (Husband's younger sister) colon cancer - 2013 - 57
Hailey - (Friend of my daughter since they were 5) hydroplaned on I-75 -2013 -22
Teri - (Ex-coworker) breast cancer 2013 - 52 (she died same day as Hailey)
Sandy - (Husbands Older Sister) lung cancer  2013 - 65 (Thanksgiving Day)
Anne - (Daughter's childhood friend) suicide  2013 - 21 (Funeral on Christmas Eve)
Danny C- (friend from high school) massive heart attack 2014 - 51
Miriam - (Brother in Law's Mom) alzheimer's/stroke  2014 - 85
Velma - (Lisa C's Sister) cancer 2014 - 62
Leila Mae - (Michael V's Mother) cancer 2014-63
Phil - (Sister's friend) drug overdose 2014 - 52
Ed - (Daughters friend) suicide 2014 - 35
Thomas - (David H's Brother)  pneumonia 2014 - 57

small

I feel like my brain is shrinking, the world is shrinking too, 

the questions have less depth, simple answers too complex to comprehend

small town, small talk, small thinking, day in, day out

want to break free but my roots are too deep

maintain, maintain, abstain, complain

Us vs Them

Somewhere in a mysterious land far far away,
There is a haven for lost souls and misfits,
Utopia they declare
They pride themselves for acceptance,
Everyone is welcome........
Everyone except the popular and/or beautiful,
And therein lies the rub. 

Common

classical violin, not intellectual enough

motown, not enough rhythm
folk hippy, not earthy enough

rock hippy, not arrogant enough
funk, not enough groove

disco, not an ounce of coordination

country, can't drink enough

new wave, couldn't pull off the big hair

punk rock, not bitter enough

alternative, not unconventional enough

rockabilly, not cool enough

grunge, well ok maybe i was at times but not intentionally

blues, too depressing

jazz, not sophisticated enough

reggae, dreads don't match my shoes
hip hop, too awkward

rap, only when im outraged

sports, did I mention I am uncoordinated?

popularity, not snobby enough

tough, not intimidating enough

suzy homemaker, obviously not my calling

writing poetry, not enough passion

so I'm destined to be average

I suppose there are worse things

Drunken Limericks

Once upon a time, my sister and I met a bunch of our long time friends at happy hour. Everyone began telling dumb limericks and I couldn't think of one.. 

The party moved to my sisters house after I went home. Much later that night, after several more beers, my sister and our pal Dickie decided to write limericks for me so I could be cool like them. 

Best gift anyone has given me in a long time  ;))