Emotion Junky

Hello my name is Karen,
I'm an emotion-aholic.

God grant me the brains
to focus on real stuff,

Give me thicker skin
and better self esteem,

Or superpowers
to make everything better

(I'm open to suggestions)

The Crusher

If you've got happy
Count on me for heavy,

If you've got the money,
I'll supply the guilt

If you've got good news,
I'll bring the bad

If you've got the sweet,
I'll add the bitter

If you bring the genius,
I'll beat you down with my dumb

I can kill the joy in sunshine, rainbows,
Music, flowers and puppies too

I can find the down in everything,
But only if you listen

Ode to The Corner Bar

At least once a week I am drawn into the same smoke filled crowded cave,

No need to bring anything but your money

Twenty-something’s to seventy-something’s huddle in this space,

Camaraderie is thicker than found in most families; Attorneys, Dishwashers, Accountants, Artists, Carpenters, Techie's, Teachers, Custodians, Managers, Business Owners, Servers, Musicians, Politicians, Machinists, Mechanics, Landscapers and Nurses, all find a way to tolerate each other.

People come to commiserate, celebrate, gossip, blow off steam,

Watch sports, play games, some dance and/or sing along to the music.

Others just sit quietly, reading or glued to a phone.

Drinks and cigarettes ease the pain of the mundane

Hugs and "I love you’s" flow as most nights progress,

Meaningful or not I take comfort in every one.

My drinking pals; loyal, loving, forgiving

And usually lots of fun.

Crown Vic Royalty

I love my nondescript big american ride,
My Crown Victoria, my love, my pride,

Old lady car shell, hot rod underneath, steers like a dream,
Kick back, relax and glide, it's peaches and cream

Hybrid drivers who give me holier than thou looks, they have my sympathy,
Comfort is what stole my heart, I smile and cruise on blissfully.

Building Heart Muscle

Love has many costs,
The payoff is proving you are human,
Capable of placing another's welfare equal to your own,
With or without receiving the same

Emotion Without Purpose

Paths cross in shifting sands,
Crazy coincidences, common ground,
Like thoughts on music, philosophy, religion, politics
Mutual neediness,
Bonds sometimes form without intention

Infatuation can be a welcome distraction,

Heart racing moments make you forget your cares,

Enjoy it while you can but keep your head,
It's shallow and fleeting,
The world will beat the door down eventually

The bond either fades or evolves into something closer to permanent
Reality always wins

Be still my heart

Music is a part of my earliest memories, I sang all the time when I was happy, at 5,  I was usually happy, drove my siblings crazy.

We lived in Detroit in 1969, I remember singing "feeling groovy" to my Dad and his full out laughter, "groovy? what does that mean?"  I replied "Daaaad,  it means happy!"  "oh, okay, sing it again!" he laughed just as loudly every time I got to the chorus.

We moved to a suburb of Washington DC, Franconia, VA in '70, I was 6, our neighbors were awesome. the people next door had 8 kids and most played a musical instrument,  the youngest was my best friend Pam, a year older than me.

Our favorite thing to do was play 45's, dance and sing along. sometimes we pretended we were a band and acted like we were playing instruments.  "Honky Tonk Woman" was one of my favorite jams. One day Pam asked if I wanted to listen to her oldest brother Mike (he was around 19) and his band practice in their basement. they were surprisingly nice, said they needed an audience.

I was in awe, had never seen a real drum set, amps, microphones, except on TV.  All was good until the drummer started playing, as soon as he tapped the cowbell I recognized "Honky Tonk Woman", When her brother hit the first few notes on his guitar I ran out of the room. My heart was racing, face was red, it was too much, I couldn't look at them directly.

In my 6 year old mind, they were the Rolling Stones.

Rare

Fireworks are grand but the sparks die away quickly,
Often hearts don't notice them at all.

A true love will defend your shortcomings,
Brag about your good qualities,
Bring out the best in you,
Do their best for you

A real love will trust you enough to argue with you,
Teach you, learn from you, preach to you, accept you,
Share their secrets and their impossible dreams with you

A loyal love will stand by you in perilous times,
Want to be with you, comfort you,
Even when you do wrong,
Even when you're tired, sick, old and ugly

It's a rare love that accomplishes all those things,
The love of my life did just that

* Last line updated 12/30/17

Death, Grief, Love, Friendship, Wine, Rock and Roll,Truth and Mozart

What happened last weekend.

coincidental magic

A group of guys in our happy hour crowd went golfing in the next county over, a pretty rural and often backwards area. Their ages range from mid-50's to 65. One of them left his hybrid car's headlights on all day and drained the battery. After drinking all day 5 or 6 of them were trying to figure out how to jump start it.. At least one still had beer in hand in the parking lot. Much to their surprise a state trooper pulled in and promptly helped them figure it out and sent them on their way.

About a week later, the guy who left his lights on stopped by the grocery store. On his way in he found a wallet, he picked it up turned it in and did his shopping. About an hour later he went downtown to meet some friends at a restaurant for drinks. He pulled into a crowded underground garage and as he was trying to park he passed a couple with their car hood up and they asked him if he could give them a jump start. The space in front of their car was the only empty space. He pulled in, confident he knew how to do this now..

As he was helping they explained they were having a weird day. "We are trying to go to the baseball game but after we had a couple of drinks I realized I lost my wallet, with the tickets in it, and now our battery is dead." They went on to say they called the grocery store where they lost the wallet and someone had turned it in.

The population of our town is about 300,000.

Coincidence or karma?

Unrequited

My love is in love with another,

He dedicates his life to being near her,

Her allure so powerful, 

She has him convinced he can't live without her,

She will never love him,

No pay, no play,

She will never comfort him when he is need

His every thought spent plotting to be with her,

Desperate to attain that rush he felt the first time they met

He is not alone,

She is worshiped by millions

He chooses her company above all others,

She is a manipulative bitch,

People everywhere anxiously ache for her with false hope,
When they find her they are never satisfied

He believes he needs her to survive,

When in truth she is only making him sicker,
Separating him from those who love him,

Including himself

If she has her way,
The lie will become a permanent truth in his head,
He will worship her until death do they part

Popular, immortal cocaine,
She will never notice he is gone. 

---2008

Not my bag

About a year ago a man who is a friend of my sister asked me if I am a "school teacher". He was drunk, had my hair in a bun, we laughed it off.

Fast forward to Fat Tuesday, two weeks ago, went to a thing at a bar with friends. Another man I had just been introduced to asked the same question. He wasn't drunk and I didn't even have a conversation with him first. I was dressed in jeans but had a short waist hounds tooth jacket so I thought maybe it was my outfit??

So yesterday I go to a party, jeans, t-shirt, hair in ponytail, person standing next to me for a couple of minutes, I hadn't even been introduced to asked me again... "are you a teacher?"

Called my sister earlier, I said, "I can't believe another guy asked me if I am a teacher yesterday" She replied "Karen, that was a woman"

I guess we both had misconceptions.

My G-G-Generation

My friends 30 year old son bought her a hand blown glass marijuana pipe for her birthday, he was high when he bought it, didn't notice one detail.

Mom: "wow, thanks son! at first I thought "what a cool red glass pipe" now I see it is a red glass replica of a penis and a pipe, ha look where you put your lips. Lets smoke a bowl"

Son took a closer look, his face turned as red as the pipe said "oh my god" and left the room.

Saint George Island

I've seen prettier views,

Swam in bluer water,
Sunk my toes in softer whiter sand,
Stayed in more glamorous rooms,

Basked in more glorious sunsets,

Eaten better food

Still there is no place I feel more at peace.

It's the precious memories there that I own, 

Time spent with the most important people in my life

Mom, Dad, siblings, in-laws, husband, daughter, friends

Every time I cross that bridge I feel the tension release,

My temporary escape from the monotony and pressure.

I can never live there though,

It would surely kill all that I love about it. 

In or Out

Nothing kills you or completes you as certainly as committing yourself wholeheartedly.